My Journey to Self-Discovery

Oh indeed, how fleeting every moment in our lives is. 

Just a while ago, I was graduating from secondary school, pondering over what's next. Little did I know that this day would arrive so quickly. 

I'm not too thrilled about embarking on the future and it saddens me to ascertain that this is officially the end of my foolish days. From here on out, I have to get up, buck up and ready myself for the reality that's about to hit me like the bitter cold - tensing my bones to its very core. 

Back when I first enrolled in Singapore Polytechnic, I was still young and naive. Awfully caught up in making new friends, being one of those "popular kids" and, in short, caring too much about what others thought of me.

I was so swamped with filling my schedules to the brim and meeting different people every day to the point when I forgot how to take a step backwards and meet with myself. I never had time for self-discovery and flourished only at the thought of people loving me. I never truly loved myself. 

Year 2 was a trying time for me. School started getting tougher, I slowly had lesser time to mingle and eventually fell out of the "popular" group. It wasn't like I was expelled or anything but having spent a lot less time with the rest of the club, it was a sure thing that I'd eventually drift away. I no longer felt as comfortable around them and soon, started feeling a sense of loss. People stopped loving me as much thus I stopped loving myself as much.

But as I grew older, I started to realise that popularity, in itself, is as useless as the warning label on a pack of cigarettes. Instead of making time for others, I remoulded myself to making time for myself. I picked up reading, spent more time alone, grew to enjoy being alone and most importantly, learnt to love myself. 

Never in my past self would she have ever pictured her future to be filled with quiet days perched on a bench alone, book in hand. But now, it's everything I would hope to always be. 

Every new beginning is tough and amidst all the uncertainty, it's especially human to want to fit in. I just hope that no matter what happens next, I'll always remember to put myself first and never lose myself. 

Life's a journey. The best way to live it is to live it for you. 

xx